For Jane

I am afraid to begin writing this, because in all honesty, I'm afraid to live in a world without Jane. In the darkest or most doubtful of times in my life, Jane is the one person who could always redirect me back to hope. Many of you know (or can assume) that I take inspiration from her, which is true, but is a gross understatement. Jane is my idol, in every sense of the word. What I feel towards her is beyond the admiration I feel for the other prominent leaders I look up to. For Jane I feel reverence.

Dr. Goodall is one of the main reasons I found my way into science, into wildlife, and of course into primatology. I have read every single book and paper she has written, listened to her interviews and read every article I could get my hands on. As a young woman, she let her passion lead her to places, research and experiences that no one, never mind a woman had had the opportunity to explore scientifically. She broke barriers and did it in a way that promoted equity, inclusion, diversity for everyone. She took risks and faced challenges I cannot begin to comprehend, all for the chimps. For wildlife. For animals. For humanity. For Earth.

Jane brought humanity to science. Even after her first forays into chimp research in Gombe and her world shattering discovery that chimps use tools, her university classmates and professors ridiculed her for having named the chimps she studied (opposed to numbering them). She never let the norms of a traditional, patriarchal society stop her from pursuing her passion or disconnect her from her sense of morals and humanity. Where others saw research subjects, Jane saw individuals capable of deep emotions, complicated social lives and an inherent value beyond what they can do for us.

Dr. Goodall's research was groundbreaking. Her discoveries helped us redefine what it means to be human or animal. The data she collected is only a small part of the breadth of research that has been conducted under her tutelage, at Gombe, and that has been inspired by her. Jane opened up doors that were never there to begin with, carving a path for future women in science to tred behind her. Beyond the science her impact was even greater. As someone who also finds my happiness and peace in the forest among wildlife, I understand the immense sacrifice she made to spend her later years in service to the cause as a whole. Jane knew that the power of her voice could shake the world in a way that wouldn't be possible from the remote wilds of Gombe. Instead of being where she loved, Dr. Goodall spent her final years working year round to tour, share her story and inspire people from around the globe.

The Jane Goodall Institute is an organization that I can truly vouch for. Of course, they work continuing the research and protecting the wild chimps of Gombe and their chimp rescue centre Tchimpounga (which of course is particularly close to my heart), but that is only a small part of their impact. From their programming to educate marginalized women and girls, to advocating for famed animals, to ecosystem protection and climate activism worldwide, JGI genuinely pursues their mission to protect animals, people and the planet. Even further, JGI embodies the spirit of hope that so acutely characterized Jane herself.

Anyone who idolizes someone has to deal with certain realities. I recognize that Jane was not a perfect human and she too made mistakes. I also know that it is not entirely unusual that a 91 year old woman passes peacefully from natural causes. Despite this, my shock was palpable. As I stood in downtown Montréal, staring at my phone and absorbing the news while the world continued on around me, for a few moments, mine stopped.

I have been incredibly fortunate to hear Jane speak in person three times. Always in a big audience, but nevertheless in the same room. The first time I saw her speak, I arrived armed with a five page hand-written letter telling her my story and expressing my gratitude and love for her. I wasn't able to get anywhere close to her so I left it with a venue-hired usher in hopes that it made it to her. I don't believe it ever did. Somehow, I always believed (perhaps delusionally) that one day I would get to meet her. That I would be able to shake her hand and tell her everything myself.

I'm never going to get to tell Jane how much she means to me and how much she impacted the course of my life. I'm never going to get to thank for her work, her activism, and for her relentless hope. While I will never get the chance to tell her, I will to live every day in her honour and through her light. I will carry on by letting her dedication drive my own, and to continue the work she started. As I grieve and come to terms with this profound loss, I am reminded of perhaps her most famous quote which hangs above my bed -

"What you do makes a difference, you just need to decide what kind of difference you want to make."

Rest in peace Jane. Thank you.